Cahl Larkin

There are two types of coaches: those who niche and those who refuse to. In most industries, if you can find someone who specialises in your exact problem, you get better value for money. But coaching isn’t like other industries, because our topic of expertise is not some technical domain, it’s human nature itself.

And human nature doesn’t come in nice and neat categories.

The more kinds of people a coach works with, the more clearly he sees the patterns underneath the problems. Strip away the surface details and you find the same forces everywhere: fear, avoidance, ego, blind spots, unclaimed responsibility. That’s why the best coaches don’t narrow themselves to a niche. They widen their exposure so their understanding deepens.

Niche coaches do it for marketing. Algorithms like neat labels. “Leadership Coach.” “Dating Coach.” “Confidence Coach.” The problem is that niche knowledge can be Googled. You can read a book on leadership, you can watch a YouTube video on confidence. That isn’t what transforms people.

Take, say, if you came to me looking to improve your leadership skills. I don’t think a list of regurgitated tips from Simon Sinek or biographers of Churchill would do you much good. But focusing in on you, and how you see yourself in a leadership role, on what blocks your flow in this role, and on what power you’re afraid of claiming in this role… that would be transformative. Together we would co-create your authentic and unique leadership style.

Maybe, at some point in the process, a tip from Simon Sinek’s oeuvre or a biography of Churchill (I actually am well read on both) would help you. If I have knowledge that can help you, I share it. But I don’t start with my knowledge, and I don’t centre my process around my knowledge. I follow the often ignored advice of the world’s top coaches: coach the person, not the problem. The insights that are made spark in your mind through the coaching process are hundreds of times more impactful than any knowledge I have to offer. So that’s what we do in my coaching: we try to light fires.

I believe in removing the word “unfair” from your vocabulary. If life were fair it wouldn’t be life.

I believe your attitude shapes how the world appears to you. I believe anxiety gets worse the more you try not to feel it. When you have one problem, don’t let your reaction to it become the second.

I believe in seeking the right questions before you seek the right answers. I believe people are only difficult to deal with when we react to them rather than respond.

I believe in taking responsibility for your feelings. Feelings are born in your reactions, not in what you're reacting to.

I believe a core function of the mind is to protect its self image. It’s a function that stalls learning and subvert success. Override it often.

I believe in living to learn. When you do, failure can never get you down for long.

I believe men and women are different by nature. And the more the genders try to be same the less we want to be together. Polarity creates chemistry; erase the polarity and you quench the spark.

I believe many men have come to view their masculine traits, such as higher disagreeability, risk tolerance and competitiveness as defects. Yet groups of agreeable, risk averse, uncompetitive people have never achieved anything.

I believe toxic masculinity exists, but that men’s denial of their masculinity is now a far more common problem.

I believe left-wing politics are bad for you. They ball you in up in resentment and victimhood, while gifting you a sense of moral superiority that you have done nothing to earn. They hijack your mind with abstractions about people’s oppression, while you become blind to the experiences of the people right in front of you.

Ask me how I know.

I believe most people achieve far below their potential. I believe life coaching is the greatest tool available for closing that gap. A mind alone swirls with a repetitive cacophony of problems, resentments and aspirations, with multiple blind spots never illuminated. A mind working with the mind of a skilled life coach can gain clarity, coherence and direction, all in 60 to 90 minutes.

I’ll let you try it one time for free.